Staff Picks February 2017

Jim Broadly

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My father died in February of 1976, and his final words were "no stop why are you doing this". I'll never know if he was speaking to me or his own prized and beloved pair of dobermans, which I had secretly trained and then set upon him to tear him to pieces, but when I get to hell I'll be sure to ask him. Anyway, here are Kaala's Staff Picks for the month of February in the year of our Lord, 2017.

Jim Broadly, editor-in-chief

Aaron (Kaala editor, first on every alphabetical list): In a move of shameless self-promotion I’m going to pick a show put together by us Kaala boys and say Kaala Presents: Eros Revenant. We tried our best to shape the lineup to suit it’s proximity to Valentine’s Day, and we’re really happy with the results: The Erections, Anal Volcano, Cunts, Fuck on the Beach, and Nikutsubosetsudan, a band whose name translates to “meat jar”, which I’m told is a particularly vulgar piece of Japanese slang whose meaning you can probably infer with only a minute’s thought. And to top it all off, the wonderfully talented Suzy Krueger will have some Black Vegan Cup Cakes for sale! I’m going to see how many I stuff into my mouth and then dare Christian to kick me in the asshole as hard as he can.

Chris (Kaala photographer, never has less than ten beers inside of him): Oh my, are we already entering February? Time flies when you're having fun watching the American Apocalypse on the news and twitter. Finally a Republican dictator to keep us warm at night. Now, let's not get too grumpy yet. There are lots of things happening in the Japanese underground, and to celebrate my recent relocation to Northern Japan, I thought I should give the Grind Freaks Fukushima a shoot. One of my favorite bands, the almighty Unholy Grave, is on the bill and with Butcher ABC, not to mention Life also contributing to what seems to be a great night of sheer noise, it's definitely a show not to be missed for those of us living in the Tohoku region. Also, the show is a benefit gig for the 2011 Tsunami victims, so this is an opportunity to reach out and do something good (the shape of Chris's skull prevents him from realizing this show is actually in March, but nobody tell him. It's part of an ongoing experiment in gaslighting pernicious Nords that Kaala is performing. -- Jim Broadly)

Jharrod (Kaala writer/researcher, somewhat responsible for turning Aaron into a Leftist piece of shit): February is already looking to be an exciting month! MDC will be kicking off their tour to start the month off, followed shortly by In Defence. Not only that, Kaala’s Valentines Day show “Eros Revenant” will be going down at the beloved El Puente. I may be biased, but it's my opinion that El Puente is the place to be on the 11th. But Alcoholic in Chief Jim Broadly insists that we can’t play favorites and must make these picks with an objective eye (demonstrably untrue. -- Jim Broadly). So if I had to pick, I think I’ll be going with MDC at Moonstep on the 5th. It’ll be a great way to kick off the month, plus I’ve been chomping at the bit to see Forward and Crucial Section again. Also, I love Moonstep.

Jordan (citation needed): Definitely got to go with Jharrod’s first pick for this month although he picked a bad day. I always avoid going to shows that fall on dates that can’t be divided evenly. I have reasons. I’ll be seeing MDC and the Elected Officials (and LIFE!!!) on the 2nd at Earthdom. Not bad for my first show of 2017. I might show up for one of the In Defence gigs as well, but certainly not the one J-rod is going to. They are from Minneapolis so I have to represent. Just not when Jharrod is around. Oh and I might show up for that “Eros Revenant” thing. I heard Jharrod is going to be there so I doubt it will be any fun, but on the brightside cupcakes!