Staff Picks December 2016
The staff of Kaala are neotenic half-men. They are precisely the sort of soft, silly, adolescent (despite being in their thirties, or quickly approaching it) males that one sees all over town and that you can't help but want to strangle. I am desperately searching for the right environmental pressure to apply in order to trigger the final stage of their development, which I assume is some sort of real man, though there's a distinct possibility that the final stage of Aaron's development is a raw, naked asshole that can suck its own dick. Jesus, I'm tired. Anyway here are the Staff Picks for the month of December, in the year of our Lord 2016.JIM BROADLYeditor-in-chief AARONeditor, writer, great head of hairStaff picks are rarely easy but Jim demands that we do them and he has incriminating pictures of us all. Fortunately for me, however, this month was not so very difficult. December is usually a slow month but we're all in for a treat: I’m pleased to announce that California-based Castle is here in Japan for their Japanese tour and they’re playing at Earthdom on the 9th of December. You can count on seeing me there because GUEVNNA and Abigail, two bands I really enjoy, are both on the bill as well and my favorite kebab stand is right down the street from Earthdom. Honestly, that place is one of my favorite venues even without the kebabs. I've met some pretty rad people there and the drinks are reasonably priced. Plus you're right around the corner from Shinjuku's cheapest, dirtiest love hotels! Or so I've been told. JHARRODwriter, researcher, Christ's forgotten childEven though it’s likely incomplete right now, looking at Kaala’s calendar for December is giving me anxiety. So many good shows coming up this month and I can only choose one. Well, I know that I’m likely hitting up Moonstep on the 4th for Dancing Violence Vol. 1 to see F.I.D., Self Deconstruction, Saigon Terror, and Horse and Deer. Then on the 9th, I’ll be at Earthdom with Aaron for Castle, GUEVNNA, and Abigail. Then probably do El Puente on the 24th for Yokohama Extreme 4 with Fecundation, Invictus, Self Deconstruction, and OxGxD. However, since I can only pick one, I think I have to go with Dancing Violence at Moonstep. The lineup has enough Grindcore to keep me happy plus Saigan Terror puts on a killer show. As for the venue, as much as I am emotionally attached to Earthdom and El Puente, Moonstep has a great two-floor set-up with a bar upstairs to relax in between bands. Since most shows I attend are at Earthdom and El Puente, it'll make for a good change of scenery. JORDANwriter, researcher, new fishThis is my first time writing a staff pick with Kaala and yeah it's going to be hard to ever top this one. Los Crudos is coming back to Japan and they are playing a two-show gig with GAUZE on the 18th at Anti-Knock. I waited in line for 4 hours about a month ago to get tickets and honestly, I've never seen a longer line in my life. That's not counting the unwashed mass of hive mind flesh creature that waits outside comiket and is time-lapsed filmed from the sky like it is the subject of a David Attenborough documentary. Sorry not sorry, animu freaks. Anyhoo, I've seen GAUZE twice this year with the first show leaving me with the sense that it would never get any better. I think April 2016 Jordan might be wrong about that.